


Better Off As Lovers, and Not The Other Way Around

by aroseintheimpala



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Reality, School Reunion, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:03:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9392600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroseintheimpala/pseuds/aroseintheimpala
Summary: Dan and Phil have a system of pretending to be in a relationship to get them out of awkward situations, but Dan takes it too far the day he signs Phil up as his plus one for his five year school reunion. Dan didn't even want to go, but his ex-girlfriend is going to be there so it's too late to back out now. ~aka the fake relationship au that no one asked for~





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fake relationship au that literally no one asked for but here we are because this is my favourite genre and there aren't enough of them
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> ps. you can find me on tumblr at softdanandphil!

The first time it happened, it was honestly an accident. They had been at Sainsbury’s picking up some snacks on the way home for the movie night they were hosting later that evening. Dan was busy debating the merits of regular versus salt and vinegar crisps, so Phil wandered off to grab some Ribena while he decided. Just as he was reaching for a bottle, he was jostled as someone bumped into him from behind.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

Phil spun around to see a man about his age smiling at him. It was really less of a smile and more of a leer though, and Phil felt instantly uncomfortable. The man wasn’t taller than Phil, but he was easily twice Phil’s size in muscle mass. Phil couldn’t help but feel like he was cowering a bit under the man’s stare.

“I didn’t see you there,” the man continued. His eyes scanned down Phil’s body slowly and then back up again to meet his eyes. Phil’s stomach churned. The man said, “I’m glad I bumped into you though because wow, you are gorgeous. What’s your name, babe?”

At that moment, Dan walked around the corner with a bag of salt and vinegar crisps in his hand. Phil looked at him with wide eyes, and Dan must have picked up on the panic because he started to say, “What-”

Phil wrapped an arm around his waist before Dan could get a word out though and asked, “Did you get everything, love?”

Dan stammered a bit and looked at the guy and then back at Phil before relaxing into Phil’s touch and saying, “Uh, yeah I did. You ready to go home?”

Phil nodded then turned back to the guy and said, “Sorry, my boyfriend and I are really in a hurry.”

Phil brushed past him before he could say anything and dragged Dan along with him with an iron grip on his wrist. Phil remained on edge while they paid at the self-checkout, so Dan stayed close to him as he scanned and bagged their items. As soon as they left though, Dan turned to him and asked, “What happened back there?”

Phil looked over his shoulder behind him and sighed. 

“That guy was trying to hit on me and something about him was really creeping me out,” he said. He bit his lip and added, “Sorry if that made you uncomfortable, but I didn’t know what to do.”

He glanced over at Dan worriedly, but Dan just barked out a laugh and wrapped his arm around Phil’s shoulders. He gave him a little squeeze before dropping his arm and saying, “Are you kidding me? It’s fine, Phil. If I had known what was going on, I probably would have tried to fight him and got my own ass kicked, so it’s probably better you handled it the way you did.”

Phil felt immediately lighter as he laughed along with Dan’s joke, and they easily moved on to discussing what movie they wanted to watch.

After that, it became their go-to cover story anytime the need arose. Overly flirty waiter who couldn’t take a hint? Dan was there celebrating his five year anniversary with Phil, whose hand he was suddenly holding across the table. The barista was making way too friendly conversation with Phil in the coffee shop? Dan would slip behind him and try to embarrass Phil by being as lovey dovey as he possibly could until the barista was annoyed and gave up. They lost track of the times one of them would comfortably slip an arm around the other’s waist or grab their hand without warning, and they were both equally ready to go along with it without missing a beat. It was actually kind of weird how easy the lie became. 

It was a convenient arrangement that both boys were fine with up until the one day that Dan screwed up. 

He knew he should have just declined the invitation to attend his school’s five year reunion and left it alone. Who even has a five year reunion anyways? You’re supposed to wait until it’s been ten years and everyone’s happy to see each other because they’ve forgotten why they didn’t like each other when they were in school. He initially ignored the Facebook invite he got and hoped that would be the end of it, but as the date grew closer, the more eager members of his class started taking it upon themselves to contact those who hadn’t RSVP’d. 

He was so surprised to see his old classmate Madison calling him that he answered without really processing what she could possibly want.

“Hello?”

“Dan, oh my god, how are you?” she asked in an overly bubbly tone.

Dan rolled his eyes. At least she hadn’t changed much since school.

“I’m fine, Madison. How are you?” he asked politely, because he still had the decency to use his manners, even if he never particularly liked her or her friends.

“I’m just fab,” she gushed. “Anthony and I just moved to London a month ago because he got a job offer in the financial sector, and we couldn’t be happier!”

Dan scrunched his eyebrows. Not that he wasn’t thrilled for her apparent happiness, but he couldn’t really imagine why this warranted a phone call to someone she hadn’t spoken to for approximately five years. Oh. Five years. That’s when it hit him.

“Anyways,” she carried on, seemingly not needing a response from Dan. “I noticed you hadn’t replied to our Facebook event about the class reunion this weekend, so I wanted to make sure you were coming! It would be really great to see you.”

Dan actually rolled his eyes. By great, he was sure she meant ‘it would be great to rub my apparently fab life in your face and oh by the way, could you take a look at this idea I have for insert dull project here and maybe use your giant online following to promote it?’ Still, he patiently answered, “No, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked with a layer of faux innocence that let Dan knew he wouldn’t like what she said next.

Just as suspected, she carried on, “Bethany is going to be there, and I just know you would love her husband if you met him. He’s a neurosurgeon! Can you believe it?”

And there it was. Dan’s ex-girlfriend Bethany. They had dated for 3 years in school before she went away to university and Dan found out she was cheating on him with some guy with a trust fund who wore bootcut trousers and collared shirts (not that Dan had stalked his Instagram). He obviously wasn’t still harbouring any feelings for her, but god would it feel good to show her how much better off he was. So, fueled completely by spite and lacking the foresight of logic, Dan asked, “When is the reunion again?”

He could practically hear Madison’s delight through the phone as she rattled off the date, time and location for him. After she finished, she asked, “So, Dan, can I sign you up?”

“Yeah, I think I can fit that in,” he replied.

“Fantastic,” she cooed. 

“Also,” he added, still running high on the prospect of petty revenge, “I’ll be bringing a plus one.”

Wait, what?! Dan did not remember giving his mouth permission to say that. He hadn’t dated anyone in years! He hadn’t even been on a date since he moved to London. It had just slipped out.

It was too late to retract the statement though because after a beat of silence, Madison’s interest was sufficiently piqued.

“Oh?” she asked. “I didn’t realise you were dating someone.”

“Well,” he stuttered a bit, starting to realise what he had just gotten himself into. With an air of fake confidence, he continued, “I am, and they’ll be coming with me so make sure you write that down.”

“Okay,” Madison said cheekily, “I can’t wait to see you and this mystery person this weekend at the reunion. Cheers, Dan!”

“Bye,” he muttered.

Oh god, what had he just done. 

He agonised over his misguided life choices for a few days before falling into his browsing position with a loud, frustrated groan on Friday afternoon. It was the day before the reunion, and he still hadn’t worked out how he was going to either come up with a thriving relationship in 24 hours or cancel the plans altogether. At this point, his pride was at stake though, and he wasn’t sure he could cancel even if he wanted to. He was certain Madison’s first phone call after hanging up on him was to tell Bethany everything Dan had said. She always was one for gossip and drama.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Phil entered the lounge with two Ribenas in hand and chuckled at Dan’s apparent distressed state.

“What’s wrong?” asked Phil.

Dan sighed, “You know that class reunion I’m going to tomorrow?”

Phil nodded as he sat down on the sofa next to Dan, set the glasses down, and picked up his laptop from the table. 

“Well,” Dan continued, “I might have lied and told them I was bringing a plus one.”

Phil frowned, “Why would you do that? You aren’t seeing anyone, are you?”

“No,” Dan huffed, “and that’s the problem. I wasn’t even going to go, but then she started going on about Bethany and her neurosurgeon husband and how I would just love him and she’d be so happy to see me, so I just blurted it out!”

Phil relaxed then and even laughed a little bit at Dan’s rant. He leaned forward and took a sip of his Ribena before setting it back down.

“So basically, you didn’t want to look like you hadn’t moved on,” he said.

“I mean, yeah,” Dan explained. “Obviously I’ve moved on because it’s been five years and we’re all adults with real lives now, but I don’t know, fuck, call it my over-competitiveness, but I just… said it! And now I don’t know what to do because I’m not dating anyone and I can’t back out.”

Apparently deciding the situation wasn’t dire anymore, Phil had opened Twitter and started scrolling through his replies while Dan was talking. Dan watched him scroll for a moment, zoning out in his thoughts, until it hit him. Oh. This could work.

“Phil,” Dan started.

Phil looked up from his laptop, immediately recognising the tone Dan used when he was about to ask for something Phil wouldn’t like.

“Yes?” Phil asked cautiously.

“What would you say to going to my class reunion with me tomorrow afternoon?” Dan asked sweetly.

Phil sighed, “Dan, no. That’s a bad idea for about fifty different reasons, and you know it.”

Dan sat up and leaned forward. “Like what?” he challenged.

“Well, for one, I’m not your boyfriend,” Phil stated.

“Yeah but they don’t know that,” Dan countered.

“I need to upload a gaming video tomorrow night,” Phil said.

“We’ll schedule the video and a couple of tweets, and the internet won’t suspect a thing,” Dan reasoned.

“And most importantly,” Phil carried on, “what if someone there watches our YouTube videos or tells someone that we showed up to your class reunion together and that gets out on the internet?”

Dan waved Phil’s concerns off with a scoff of dismissal. 

“Please,” he said, “like anyone from my school even understands what I do on YouTube. No one there is going to care who I’m dating.”

He paused, then added, “Well, they might be a little surprised that you don’t have boobs, but that’s beside the point.”

Phil laughed at that and then leaned back into the sofa cushion with a sigh. 

“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” he said, looking over at Dan.

Dan bit his lip for a second before launching straight into the pitiful look that he saved for special occasions because he absolutely knew it would work on Phil every time. Phil had a hard time saying no to Dan when Dan looked up at him through his lashes and jutted his lip out just slightly. Phil claimed it felt like kicking a hurt puppy when Dan pulled that look on him. Dan was desperate though, so it seemed like a necessary move.

“Dan, don’t do that,” Phil warned.

“Please, Phil?” he asked softly. “You’re my best friend, and it would really mean a lot to me if you came with me tomorrow. I don’t want to face all of them alone after five years.”

Dan could already see that he had won by the sympathetic look forming on Phil’s face, but he leaned in closer to Phil just for emphasis and added another, “Please?”

Phil stared at him for another moment before groaning and saying, “Ugh, fine. You win. I’ll go with you to the stupid reunion.”

Dan broke into a grin at Phil’s words and launched himself across the sofa to engulf his flatmate in a hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chanted into Phil’s shoulder, slightly muffled by his t-shirt.

He felt Phil laugh as he hugged him back and said, “You owe me big time.”

Dan pulled out of the hug and smiled at Phil. “I know,” he said. “I’ll get the post for a week after we get back so you don’t have to wake up for the mailman.”

Phil’s eyebrow quirked up at that and he asked, “Can I get a free pass on stealing your cereal too?”

Dan’s smile immediately turned into an unamused expression, and he said, “Don’t push your luck, Lester.”

Phil giggled, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, and said, “It was worth a try.”

The next morning, as Dan was throwing things into his backpack at the last minute, it started to hit him what he had gotten himself and Phil into. They were closer than your average best friends, of course, and they had no problem being fake boyfriends if the situation called for it, but this was different. This was people who knew Dan. This wasn’t just an easy escape from an awkward situation. They were going to mingle and answer questions about how they met and act like a convincing couple for several hours. He needed to talk to Phil.

That had to wait until they were on the train though, because Dan spent another 15 minutes straightening his hair and then walking out of the flat and nearly forgetting his phone charger, which set them back another 5 minutes and had Phil in a state as he apologised profusely to the cab driver who was waiting for them outside.

They were only staying with Dan’s parents for one night, so it really shouldn’t have been a difficult trip to pack for, but Dan had never been known for his advance planning. After the chaotic morning, though, they finally found themselves settled into their seats on a Southwest train to Reading and sipping the coffees Phil had insisted on getting from Starbucks back at the station. Phil was looking through his inbox on his phone, and Dan stared out the window as the sprawling city faded into suburbs and countryside. 

He had to think about how they were going to do this. It’s not like he had doubts that people would believe that they were a couple, if the worrying amount of Phan shippers on the internet were anything to go by. The person Dan was most worried about was himself. The truth is, he had always enjoyed pretending to be Phil’s boyfriend a little more than he should have because he’d been in love with the man for the better part of seven years. Going along with all the little touches and sweet words left Dan feeling guilty and dishonest when his heart was secretly racing every time Phil so much as smiled in his direction. He knew Phil didn’t feel the same way about him, but who could blame him for pretending it was real sometimes?

The train ride wasn’t getting any longer though, so he decided to just get the hard part out of the way.

“We need to set some ground rules,” he said to Phil.

Phil looked up from his phone, slightly confused. He asked, “About what?”

“About how we’re going to convince everyone we’re together,” Dan explained.

“I mean, we’ve done this before,” Phil said, looking back down at his phone. “It shouldn’t be that hard.”

 _It shouldn’t be that hard_ , Dan thought. Yeah, no kidding. That was half of Dan’s problem.

“Okay, but what if we have to kiss or something?” he asked tentatively.

Phil laughed, still not looking at Dan. He said, “I can’t imagine anyone will be holding a gun to our heads and demanding that we kiss at a high school reunion.”

“Phil, please take this seriously,” Dan whined impatiently.

Phil finally locked his phone and turned to give Dan his full attention. 

“Okay, I’m taking this seriously. And if I absolutely have to kiss you, I don’t think the Earth will implode,” he laughed. “However, I’d prefer if we kept it to handholding and a peck on the cheek at most if that’s okay with you.”

Dan nodded in response and said, “Okay, sounds good.”

He then threw a cheeky grin at Phil and added, “Boyfriend.”

Phil shook his head and smiled before going back to his phone and playing some puzzle game for the rest of the journey.

By the time the train pulled into Reading, Phil had sank down into his seat so that his head was resting on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan’s arm was wrapped around him to make them both more comfortable. If anyone had been paying attention to them at that moment, Dan had no doubt they’d have been convinced they were a couple. 

He looked down to find that Phil had dozed off, so he tapped his arm lightly to let him know they had arrived. The two lazily grabbed their bags and made their way to the front of the station, where Dan’s mother was waiting with the family car.

She pulled Dan and then Phil into a hug and gushed, “It’s so great to see you boys! I’ll admit I was surprised when Dan said you were coming, Phil, but I was thrilled when he told me. Frankly I’m surprised it took my son this long to make it official.”

Dan and Phil shared a look of brief confusion before they simultaneously realised what was happening. Apparently Dan’s mum had assumed Phil was coming to visit as Dan’s boyfriend too. Dan’s face suddenly flushed bright pink. Before he could correct her though, Phil spoke.

“Thank you, Mrs. Howell,” he said kindly. “I’m happy to be here with him as well.”

He grabbed Dan’s suddenly very clammy hand and laced their fingers together, giving it a slight squeeze. Dan had absolutely no idea what was happening, but he offered up a smile in agreement before they parted to load their bags into the boot of the car.

Dan and Phil both slid into the backseat without thinking, leaving Dan’s mother sitting alone in the front. She didn’t seem to mind though, meeting Dan’s eyes with a knowing smile in the rearview mirror.

Dan’s phone buzzed with a new text message, and he clicked the home button to see that it was from Phil. Confused, he opened it and read, “Sorry, I panicked! Please don’t be mad.”

Dan smiled and reached over and gave Phil’s thigh a reassuring squeeze. Phil’s expression faded into one of ease, and they left it at that. They’d deal with fake break ups or whatever else the situation called for later, but Dan could never be mad at Phil.

They only had an hour to get to the reunion, so they dumped their bags in Dan’s room and were out the door before any more awkward situations with his mum could arise. Dan’s nerves were getting to him as he pulled the car into his old school’s parking lot and shut off the engine. It had all been hypothetical before, but now he was really going to have to deal with Bethany and her snotty friends and the guys who’d bullied him in school and god knows who else. He was a little sick with the realisation of just what he’d signed up for. Phil noticed his change of mood and placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dan sighed. “Let’s do this.”

The reunion was being held in the gymnasium, just like every cliche, unimaginative reunion was. Someone had set up rows of tables across one end of the room, and there appeared to be a clear area where someone had thought that people might want to dance. He immediately decided that wasn’t going to happen.

Before they entered, Dan reached for Phil’s hand and linked their fingers together. 

Madison was unsurprisingly manning the check-in desk, and Dan had to admit it was funny to watch her eyes widen as she saw Dan approach with Phil in tow.

She recovered quickly though before squealing and running around the counter to hug him and gushing, “Dan! It’s so lovely to see you!”

Dan uncomfortably gave her a one-armed embrace, refusing to let go of Phil’s hand in the process. She pulled away and turned to Phil. She stuck out a hand for him to shake, which Phil did politely.

“I’m Madison,” she explained, “and you must be…?”

“I’m Phil,” he said. “Dan’s boyfriend.”

To her benefit, Madison took it in stride. She smiled and said, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Phil.”

After making a note of Dan’s presence, she gestured to show them where the food and drinks were and told them to have fun. Apparently several of Dan’s classmates were very excited to see him.

He scoffed to himself. He’s sure they were. Now that he was semi-famous, he was much more interesting than the emo nerd they had all previously known. They might not understand YouTube, but they all understood BBC Radio 1 and that he was now a DJ for the station.

Dan and Phil immediately made a beeline for the refreshments, and Dan didn’t hesitate to pour himself a glass of wine.

“Dan, it’s 2pm,” Phil laughed.

“Trust me, it’s necessary,” Dan replied. 

Phil shook his head and went for a coke instead. The two found an empty table in the corner and sat down to take in the scene. Dan knew it was ridiculous to come all the way to Reading to see his old classmates and still sit in the corner alone with Phil, but old habits die hard. 

He looked across the room, recognising a few people here and there. It only took him a few minutes to spot Bethany in the crowd. She was wearing a tight red dress that was frankly way too formal for the occasion, and her dark hair was piled on top of her head in some sort of intricate bun. Even better, she was standing next to a man who was literally wearing a black suit. Dan recognised him as the same person she’d cheated on him with back in university and couldn’t help the scowl that formed on his face. Of course he was the type of guy to show up to a high school reunion in a tux. 

Dan watched as she laughed at whatever her friend was saying, Abby or something, Dan vaguely remembered her; and because the universe hates him, Bethany made eye contact with him at that exact moment. He watched as she wrapped her arm around her husband’s waist and turned back to Abby with much more enthusiasm than she previously had for the conversation. Dan didn’t miss how Abby briefly looked his way either. He rolled his eyes. Some things never change, apparently.

He turned to Phil and muttered, “Sharks, all of them.”

Phil giggled at Dan’s theatrics.

Dan looked over at the door and noticed a group of people enter the room and realised it was the small group he used to sit with during lunch. If his school was full of bullies and dim morons, that group had been the angels who actually tolerated Dan and saved him from being a total loner. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, and he motioned for Phil to come with him as he stood. 

Dan walked up behind the group and tapped on one girl’s shoulder. She turned around and broke into a huge smile when she saw him, and immediately wrapped him in a hug.

“Dan!” she exclaimed, “it’s been so long!”

He laughed with genuine happiness and agreed, “I know, it’s so good to see you Carlie.”

Sometime in the middle of their interaction, everyone else noticed him too and were happily greeting him. He noticed Phil shuffling behind him and moved aside to bring him into the small circle that had formed.

“Phil, these are the only people worth meeting in the whole room,” he explained.

Phil and the others laughed before Dan started pointing them out.

“This is Carlie, Emma, and Matt,” he said, gesturing towards each of them.

Then he turned back to Phil. “And this is Phil. My boyfriend.”

He noticed Emma’s slight surprise, but they all still smiled and shook Phil’s hand. He had to admit he was starting to be glad that he came because he’d maybe missed these particular people more than he’d realised.

He tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Phil say, “It’s so nice to finally meet some of Dan’s friends. He moved to Manchester for university shortly after we met, so I’ve hardly had the chance to visit Reading with him.”

The girls smiled and chatted happily with him, and Dan felt warm inside watching Phil fit in with his old friends. He couldn’t imagine anybody else being here with him. Phil just fit in his life. Those were dangerous thoughts though because Phil wasn’t his, and one day he would fit into someone else’s life and Dan would be left alone. He needed another drink.

He leaned into Phil’s side with a hand placed on his lower back and said, “I’m going to get another drink. Do you want anything?”

“No, I’m okay for now,” Phil smiled. 

He tilted his head and kissed Dan’s cheek, which made Dan instantly blush, but it was all part of the game. They’d talked about this. Dan withdrew his arm from Phil’s waist and walked away, muttering under his breath, “Get it together, Dan.”

Unfortunately for him, Bethany apparently decided to get another drink at the same time because Dan looked up and noticed her pouring a glass of wine. He almost walked away, but he cursed himself for being a baby and kept walking. He silently stood next to her and picked up the bottle of red wine. She set the bottle she was pouring from down and turned to face him.

“Dan,” she said.

“Bethany,” he returned.

She sighed, “Look, I know you hate me, and I get it. It’s been years though, and I’d like to think we’re mature enough to be in the same room.”

“I didn’t say we weren’t,” Dan replied shortly.

“Well, for the record, I’m happy that you’ve found someone,” she said a bit more nicely than her first statement.

Dan looked over at Phil laughing at something Matt said and felt that familiar ache tugging at his chest. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Me too.”

She was looking at him a little curiously, but before she could say anything, her husband appeared at her side.

“Bethany,” he said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

Bethany shot Dan a look he knew to interpret as ‘Be nice.’ 

“Josh, this is Dan,” she said evenly.

Recognition flashed across Josh’s face at the mention of Dan’s name, and the man suddenly stood up straighter.

“Your ex-boyfriend, Dan?” he asked bluntly.

“Yep, that’s me,” Dan awkwardly supplied.

The whole Earth could open up and swallow him in that moment, and he didn’t think he’d really mind. Josh looked Dan up and down before nodding to himself.

“I see,” he said. “I must say I expected someone a little less… camp, from the way you described him.”

Bethany gasped, and Dan’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. He knew he wasn’t exactly manly, but he really didn’t like what this man was trying to imply. Dan is nothing if not witty though, so before he even knew what he was doing, he spit out, “Well, I expected your masculinity to be a little less fragile, but I guess both of us failed to live up to expectations today.”

Bethany sighed, not seeming entirely shocked by Dan’s reply. She knew him and his cutting sarcasm well, after all.

Phil, always with the impeccable timing, chose that exact moment to come and see what was taking Dan so long. Just as Josh was about to reply, Phil appeared at Dan’s side with a smile on his face.

Dan noticed him and forcefully grabbed his hand.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to go be gay with my boyfriend now,” he said in a much more dramatic tone than was strictly necessary.

Phil gave Josh and Bethany a confused stare before being dragged off by Dan and apparently onto the dance floor, leaving a clearly annoyed Bethany behind with her shocked husband.

There were only two other couples on the dance floor swaying along to some upbeat pop song, and Dan looked frankly comical with the way he started trying to sway his hips while still scowling angrily. 

“Dan,” Phil said carefully. “You want to tell me what happened back there?”

Just then, the song ended and a slower one came on. Dan sighed as he slowed his movements and said, “I let him get to me, but it’s fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Phil put the pieces together then and realised that must have been Dan’s ex-girlfriend. He stepped closer to Dan as Ed Sheeran started crooning the first verse of Give Me Love. It wasn’t exactly a happy love song, but he still wrapped his arms around Dan’s neck and started swaying along. He saw Dan’s shoulders finally relax as he placed his hands on Phil’s waist and started moving with him. A few other couples had joined the crowd and were also dancing to the slow song, but the world outside the space between their bodies ceased to exist as Dan cooled down from the confrontation and melted into Phil.

He wasn’t really that upset about Bethany or her idiot husband, but his nerves were already on edge from being in the old place that held so much of his past that he’d tried to lock away in the dark recesses of his mind. Not to mention that the man he loved was there meeting all of his old friends as his boyfriend, and Dan wasn’t even allowed to enjoy it because it was all a lie. In that moment though, all his brain would willingly focus on was the way he could feel Phil’s breath against the side of his neck. If it were anybody else, he would have moved away because he hated when people were close to his neck, but the shivers moving down his spine weren’t from discomfort when it was Phil. 

Everything about Phil was right, but he wasn’t Dan’s to want. Dan could hold him close and show him off to all of his old classmates all day, but at the end of the night, they would go home and be normal, platonic flatmates just like they were yesterday. Dan’s brain started to hurt with the thoughts swirling around in it, and Phil must have felt him growing more tense. He reached up with one of the hands draped around Dan’s neck and dug his fingers into the hair on the back of his neck, tracing smooth, gentle circles into Dan’s skin.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

His lips were so close to Dan’s ear that he barely had to whisper to be heard. Just then, Ed Sheeran’s voice cut through the silence, as if he was mocking Dan’s thoughts.

_Give me love like never before_  
'Cause lately I've been craving more  
And it's been a while but I still feel the same  
Maybe I should let you go 

Dan sighed and leaned his head forward so that it landed on Phil’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m better now,” he lied.

They swayed along in silence for another moment with one of Phil’s hands still carding through Dan’s hair and the other wrapped around his back. Dan felt downright miserable, if he was being honest, and he knew Phil could see that. He knew he should just be enjoying this moment with Phil while he had it, but the knowledge that it was all pretend wouldn’t let Dan’s mind rest. He felt his face suddenly being lifted, gently, by the hand that had just been resting on his upper back. He met Phil’s gaze with a question in his eyes.

Instead of literally anything else Phil could have done in that moment though, he leaned forward and he kissed Dan.

Dan was pretty sure that his brain just stopped working. Clocked out, vacated the building, gave up. The press of Phil’s lips against his was soft, tentative. It was like a sip of water after Dan had been in the desert though, and he felt himself responding almost automatically. The hand on Dan’s neck suddenly moved to the back of his head, and Phil surged forward with a bit more energy. Dan tightened his grip on Phil’s waist and gasped as Phil took his bottom lip between his teeth.

Someone from the corner of the room cheered, and that was what pulled Dan’s mind back into reality. He ripped himself out of Phil’s hold abruptly and stumbled back a step. Phil opened his eyes and met Dan’s open-mouthed stare.

“Dan, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, stepping forward towards him with his hands up. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Dan inhaled sharply and closed his mouth into a tight line. “No, you really shouldn’t have,” he replied. 

He stalked past Phil and into the foyer, ignoring the confused stares from everyone else in the room. He instantly felt bad about leaving Phil alone in a room full of people he didn’t know, but Dan needed to get out so he could think. He paced down a corridor until he turned a corner into an empty room that was apparently being used for storage considering all of the boxes stacked along the far wall. He sank down against the wall nearest the door and placed his head into his hands. 

What had just happened in there? Phil was the one who blatantly said he preferred not to kiss Dan. Phil was the one who knew they were strictly platonic, and he was supposed to have the level head between them. Now Phil had gone and fucked everything up, and Dan didn’t know how to go forward from here.

It took Phil about five minutes to find him, and when he did, he hovered in the doorway awkwardly. Dan stared at the floor for a few seconds before finally looking up to meet Phil’s gaze. Phil looked like a nervous wreck, and Dan couldn’t help but take pity on him. Regardless of if they were fighting or confused or an absolute mess, he was still Phil. So when Phil offered him a hand to help him up, Dan took it.

“Are you ready to go?” Phil asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Dan replied.

The energy between them was much lower than it had been earlier, and neither of them spoke as Dan led the way to the car a few paces ahead of Phil. The drive back to Dan’s parents’ house was silent. Dan’s mum greeted them at the door with a big smile and asked them how the reunion went, but Dan just brushed past her with a tense, “Fine.”

She looked to Phil as Dan sulked into his bedroom and shut the door, but Phil just shrugged. Mrs. Howell knew better than to bother her son though, so she put the kettle on to make Phil some tea and let him be when he told her that he needed to take care of some business e-mails.

Dan paced around his room for the next half hour, trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. He was sure Phil had been the one to kiss him, but then why had he said he regretted it almost immediately after? Dan must have finally gone too far and gotten too comfortable with Phil’s affection. Phil never wanted Dan like that, and he must hate Dan now. Would he want to move out? Could they even keep making gaming videos together after this? They had a few pre-filmed, so that would save them from having to explain the channel dying for at least a few weeks if they timed it right. He finally sighed and fell onto his old childhood bed. Things were really messed up this time, and he didn’t even remotely know how to fix it, so he just fell asleep.

He woke up a few hours later when Phil pushed open the door with a plate of food in his hand. Apparently his mum had opted to let Dan sleep instead of waking him for dinner, and here Phil was at, he looked at his alarm clock to see it was 10pm, bringing him food because he knew Dan would be hungry. Dan’s chest hurt.

He sat up and pulled his legs to his chest so that Phil could sit at the end of the bed and accepted the plate gratefully. He started picking at the pasta as Phil stared at the floor in silence. They remained in that awful state for a few minutes until Phil broke the silence.

“Your mum didn’t make up the guest room because she assumed…” he trailed off and Dan nodded. His mum assumed they would be sharing the bed.

“Anyways, I’ll be fine sleeping on the floor,” Phil continued.

Dan sat the half empty plate down on his bedside table and looked at Phil.

“No, don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You’re a guest. I can take the floor or even the sofa downstairs.”

He hated the tense atmosphere as Phil started to argue but then decided it wasn’t worth it and went back to his concentrated silence with a short nod. Dan’s stare returned to the brown duvet wrapped around his legs.

Phil cleared his throat.

“I just wanted to let you know, I e-mailed the landlord to tell him I’ll be moving out next week.”

If Dan had still been holding the plate, he would have dropped it. His head whipped up to meet Phil’s sad gaze, and he asked, “Phil, what are you talking about?”

Phil looked like he was about to cry any second, but he explained, “I thought it would be best.”

Just like that, Dan’s heart shattered. He knew things had gone too far. He should have just said no to the bloody reunion, but now they’d gone and royally fucked things up. Phil must have realised how Dan felt, and now Dan had scared him away. His own stupid feelings had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He was angry at himself mostly, but he surprised himself by saying, “Fuck you, Phil.”

Phil, who had previously looked sad, was now extremely alarmed as he looked up at Dan with wide eyes.

“Excuse me?” he asked.

“You heard me,” Dan said, rising to stand in front of Phil.

“You don’t get to just kiss me and then run away like this. I know you don’t feel the same way I do, but we’ve been best friends for seven years. I didn’t think you’d be so willing to throw that away because of one stupid kiss,” he accused angrily.

“Dan, what are you talking about?” Phil asked, standing up too. “I thought this would be what you wanted?”

Dan scoffed, “Of course this isn’t what I want, Phil.”

Phil sighed, “I don’t know what you want me to say, Dan.”

“Oh come on, Phil,” Dan said, dragging out the words. “Can we not play dumb about this?”

“About what?” Phil begged him to explain.

“About the fact that I’m in love with you, you idiot! And that’s why you’re leaving!” Dan nearly shouted.

He covered his mouth quickly, hardly believing the words that had just come out. It was too late to take anything back now though, because Phil was staring at him like he was seeing him for the first time. Okay, so maybe Phil hadn’t known after all.

Before Dan could even try to salvage what was left of their friendship though, Phil rushed forward and crashed their lips together. He wrapped his arms around Dan as they both fell onto the bed, Phil sprawling out on top of him. Dan’s brain short-circuited and forgot to remind him that they were in an argument, and all he could do was kiss Phil back. Dan’s hands roamed down Phil’s sides, and Phil pushed him into the bed as their lips connected over and over again until they were both left gasping for air. Phil moved just far enough to rest his forehead against Dan’s. Their breathing mixed as they both settled enough to speak.

“I’m gonna need some explanation here, Phil,” Dan finally whispered.

Phil smiled and pecked Dan’s mouth once more. He mumbled against Dan’s lips, “I’m in love with you too, you idiot, that’s why I kissed you earlier.”

Just like that, their whole situation for the last two days, and really the last seven years, suddenly fell into place, and they could do nothing but simultaneously dissolve into a giggling mess. There was a lot to talk about and a lot of emotions happening, but at that moment, both of them were laughing so hard at the absurdity of it all that they couldn’t breathe. Phil rolled off of Dan and onto the bed next to him, though he still curled into Dan’s side as he laughed. 

“Oh my god,” Dan exhaled, still slightly wheezing. “We’re so stupid!”

“Yeah, we definitely are,” Phil agreed.

They finally calmed down until all that was left was their matching goofy smiles, and Dan reached over to take Phil’s hand in his own. He laced their fingers together and sighed.

“Where do we go from here?” he asked.

Phil was quiet for a moment, then he said, “I want this. If you do too, of course.”

“God, yes,” Dan immediately replied.

Phil grinned. “Then, I guess, we figure it out along the way. Together.”

“Perfect,” Dan said.

Neither of them felt much like being away from each other after the events of the day, so they stayed curled up in Dan’s bed for the rest of the evening and watched a few episodes of anime on his laptop. Maybe ‘watched’ was a liberal term considering they probably spent an equal amount of time making out compared to actually watching the show. Phil had insisted Dan didn’t need to bring his laptop for one night, but Dan didn’t hear him complaining about it now.

Later that evening, when they were ready for sleep, Dan could feel Phil’s heartbeat through his shirt where his head rested on his chest. The house was silent other than their slow breathing, and lying there with Phil’s arms around him and their legs fully intertwined under the duvet, he couldn’t imagine a scenario that could feel more like heaven. His brain was still loud with questions about what all of this meant, but Phil loved him, and that was enough for now.


End file.
